Slow Work day and Boring Relatives

Look I know the day before Thanksgiving is mostly a slow work day for most of us but for God's sake be thankful you have a job at Dunder Miflin and be like Bob Cratchet and give the old boss a fair day's work for that little money you make. But, alas, nope, you are reading this blog.......and for that I'm grateful. Really.

Or if it is Thursday..........are your relatives really that boring that you have to pretend to be checking your fantasy football scores or scanning the Craigslist personals while really checking in with JocoEveryman?? Again, glad you checked in. Thanks.

Here is my plan. I'm off to have lunch with some friends, er, uh colleagues and drink a little wine.

Thanksgiving morning I'm off to do the Sprint Turkey Trot 5K at 9 AM. See you there??? They have named it in honor of Tom Murphy. A good guy who is missed. Then a couple Turkey dinners with my family and the in laws. One guess which one will have the best food. My wife's family doesn't believe in seasoning their food and overcooks pretty much everything. Food safety you know. If you pick up the salt shaker everyone gasps like you just stuck a heroin needle in your arm right in front of them and the kids. To my family's house I bring really good wine. To theirs.....Wild Turkey. Then some football, more wine......and hope that my wife's Aunt Flo has finished her monthly visit in time for bed.

I know we are all thankful for tons like......that my parents didn't settle in Wyandotte County or worse in KCMO when they moved here. Thanks Mom and Dad.

Hey to the older woman at the gym with the fake boobs who kept checking me out and giving me the look as I was working out on Monday. How YOU doing???

Eat well. Drink more. Love tons.

Check back on Friday for my wine picks of the week.

Happy Thanksgiving! Don't eat too much.........

Is there some Chinese Dissident desperately trying to reach me!

Pretty much daily when I approve comments written to the blog there are a couple in Chinese which I reject. By the way, I almost never reject a comment......unless it is Chinese, duh.

I barely speak English so you know Chinese is out of the question.

Then I was thinking. What if.......... there is a desperate little Chinese student in Beijing needing my help to water the plant of democracy there? What if...........he reads the blog and thinks I'm China's last hope reaching through an electronic matrix hoping I understand him and help. I'm Timmy and he is Lassie...... "What is it boy?", say Timmy. "Rrrrrruffff", responds Lassie. "Lassie, you are saying old man Thompson is stuck in a hole and I need to come and save him? Lassie, you are the best dog ever"

I'm imagining a translation. "Dear Mr. Honorable JocoEveryman: I know you are most respected writer in your country and so wise on so many important topics. I love the photographs you post on Friday of hot American babes that drink wine with you during the week. Thank you for the broccoli and spinach you and your mom sent to my country back in 1972. I am Pei Wei and I desperately require your help........"

And I've been just rejecting them all this time? Talk about a story. Talk about a movie deal.

Or maybe a really cute Chinese girl.........okay probably not.

Or it could just be some Chinese assholes trying to get me to buy fake Viagra again. If you have an erection that lasts more than four hours seek medical attention immediately......

I Told You So Monday!

I used to be humble. I used to be well, lots of things I'm not anymore. Like thin, good looking, in good shape.....stop me anytime, right?

I don't do it often so what the hell.

I don't have kickass tipsters....hell, sometimes I'm not even sure anyone is reading.

I just have thoughts and ideas. Some are inspired.......many not.

So when I heard on the news this morning that there will be an announcement today that Dennis Moore will NOT seek another term. I said......I predicted that. Damn, I'm good. I've linked to that post so you can easily find it. Apparently, Dennis Moore is the coward I thought he was all along. It was easy when your leadership gave you a pass on liberal issues to help you hold your seat. However when you won by 10 points last time and the game was looking like it was on the line Satan came calling to collect the soul you sold her.

Dennis Moore's people know what I've been saying all along. Republicans were ready to rise up and take back the Kansas 3rd this time. Maybe they read this blog...he he he he.....uh probably not.

Smelling the blood in the water is almost every worthless Republican candidate who Moore disposed of over the last decade. Please can we get somebody fresh and talented this time? Rumors are Nick Jordan wants another crack. In the only televised debate between him and Dennis Moore during the last election Jordan really did kick Moore's ass. Unfortunately, nobody saw and it and even more sadly......nobody in the real media reported it. Otherwise Jordan ran an uninspired and underfunded race.

Michael Mahoney said this morning it was "predictable and not surprising"......really? Where were you out front calling it? I predict.....he reports......apparently.

I'll keep my clock counting down the end of Dennis Moore's term running! You'll find it at the bottom of the blog.