Thursday, November 19, 2009

Proof I Am Lame

When I was younger I dreamed of a new Mercedes, BMW.....maybe a GT Mustang. I dreamed of fancy, fast, beautiful cars. I found myself as of late dreaming, coveting a new car. I have no reason to get a new car I just got one in 2007. Dreaming of a new car is well......very American. We love our cars. But I found myself recently spending, er wasting time researching said new car. I am smitten. I am lusting. First, I talked my wife into it and I pretty much even talked my cheap ass into it. I can afford it. I would enjoy it. I counter balanced my frugal nature, er cheap ass-ness with my carpe diem nature as I rationalized why this new car would, should work.

Wanting a new car when you don't need one....well....that can be debated as a lack of discipline, maturity whatever but after all that I really discovered that all this inner turmoil only worked to demonstrate why I am such a lame man. I am lame because all this turmoil, all this thought and consideration is over a new Ford Taurus. Yep. Not a Mercedes, not a 7 series Beemer, not an Audi A8 or a new Mustang GT 500. How did this happen? What is wrong with me. I have become lame. Am I really this old? Lame like the Cleveland Browns offense on Monday night football. Lame like JOCOer's standing in a line 30 people deep on Saturday and Sunday mornings at Dunkin Donunts. Lame like Cordish bowing to the pressure. Lame like K-State fans getting off the bandwagon quicker than a prom dress coming off and hitting the floor. Lame like Wayne Cauthen at a Finance & Audit Committee meeting. Lame like John Toplikar stealing campaign signs. Well, you get the idea. I'm lame.

Jocoeveryman wants a new..........Ford Taurus??? Good thing I'm already married or I'd never get laid again. Well, at least I'm not fat, live in my parents basement and wear pleated jeans and short sleeved dress shirts. Yea....Jocoeveryman.....keep telling yourself it is okay. Nothing says sexy and smooth like a Taurus. So far no joy. I'll keep you posted.


Anonymous said...

You may indeed be lame. You need a fancier car than that or you will blend in with every other middle aged suburban dad. Not good. Although it could be worse it could be a station wagon (aka “Crossover”)….

Bill the Painter said...

The Chevy Malibu LTZ is a much sexier car. Black with black leather and tinted windows. NICE!

JOCOeveryman said...

Bill, did you use the word sexy and Chevy in the same sentence? You are as bad if not worse than me!

I'll admit I might not have given full would be a SHO if I got one.

Kansas Sity Sinic said...


No words.

JOCOeveryman said...

I know.....what else I can I do but admit it. So sad.

Bill the Painter said...

I guess the SHO version is ok. probablt have the Ecoboost Turbo 4cyl.

I'm a Chevy guy and have owned all sorts of GM cars and trucks and have loved every one of them

My weekend "toy" however, is a Lincoln Mark VIII. The last of the 2 door Lincolns with a (almost) Mustang Cobra engine. Talk about a LOT of fun to drive!

JOCOeveryman said...

Bill, I know that Lincoln you are talking about. That's a good one.

The SHO has the V6 Ecoboost that delivers 365 HP baby with paddle shifters.

Anon 8:05.....good one on the crossover. I have a friend in STL I tease because he drives one and doesn't even have kids. I'd make my wife drive that:-)