Monday, January 18, 2010

Girl Scouts are Waistline Terrorists!

I am staring at forty plus boxes of Girl Scout cookies on my dining room table. What the ?????

I've always made it a policy to buy from pretty much any little kid who can articulate what they are selling me and what the money they are raising is going toward. I like to encourage the little buggers to be confident future business people, people who can sell, and people who understand the value of raising money for good causes. Some people complain when the parents sell for them. When the kids sell they are learning sales skills. When the parents sell for them they have moved onto sales management. Mom, did you hit your quota today? I said you had to get at least 25 out of your admin....what is this bullshit 10 box order? Dad, exceeded his number by seeing a few extra people on his lunch break.

Apparently word has gotten out.

I used to eat these cookies. Peanut Butter Patties and Peanut Butter Sandwiches are my favorite. Typical serving size for me = one box or for you counting along.....1,200 calories. It would have to run 10-12 miles to work that off! I've loved these since I was a little know when there were 3 rows in a box opposed to 2 loosely packed rows now.

I wonder how many more are gonna show up this year?? The Leawood bookie has set the official over/under at 52 for JOCOeveryman if you are looking for a little action.

I used to eat all these cookies when I was fat. I no longer am and I no longer eat these cookies, PERIOD. However, they continue to be delivered by mostly non-MILFy moms of Girl Scouts from whom I don't even recall ordering. Luckily, they request, er, uh demand payment up front so at least I don't think they are making it up. These cookies are kinda, er really calling my name like whores at Vegas Sales meeting but I know if I eat even one I'll be like Robert Downey Jr at an East Side crack house just planning on dropping by to say "hey" to old friends. These little girls are diet terrorists. I'll not cave this year. These cookies are vacating this week.

How about this? Every 10 boxes you order comes with a coupon for 25% off bigger pants at Target.

These cookies are going to a charity someplace. Who do you think would like them? A food pantry maybe? So if you see a guy wearing the fake moustache and glasses combo dragging about 50 boxes of GS cookies to your charity door.......pretend you don't know me.


Anonymous said...

I live with a girl scout and she has gone out in the dark and cold of the WI nights to sell her cookies. I bought 10 boxes and had them donated to the troops. My pallet of tagalongs are for me and no one else! Portly, happy and a 30bmi and holding. Jayne

JOCOeveryman said...

Troops is a good idea. They will definitely burn off the calories! How do I get them to them? Good for your little girl. Sounds like she worked hard.

Tagalongs, eh?