Monday, November 2, 2009

Gotta love Falling back an hour. Time change.






I remember in my late teens and early twenties that the time change was awesome because the bars stayed open one hour later. One. more. hour. One more hour to try to find the most desperate girl in the bar to hook up with me, the most desperate guy in the bar. One more hour to down a little more liquid courage to talk with one more girl that.... I don't know.... wanted to get back at her boyfriend who just left with another girl or maybe the thick girl who was the last one standing. Or maybe the Amish girl who just left from home on her rumspringa and ended up in that very bar. Never worked but it gave me as much hope as Linus Van Pelt each year waiting for the Great Pumpkin. Next year I'll find the perfect patch and the Great Pumpkin will appear! Meanwhile, my roommate, the Sam Malone of my college was finishing off his first run through the buffet line of chicas and coming back for a fresh plate to grab anything that still looked good off the warmer. I was the one with the sweet Member's Only jacket sleeves pulled up half way up my forearms! I must have acted incredibly desperate. Duh, I was desperate. Thank God there wasn't Craigslist personals back then or I would have never left my room.

Fast forward to now......Al Bundy in the making with the glory days of high school football behind me..........with another end of day light savings coming up on me. I always think I'll just enjoy the extra hour of sleep but with a long established habit of not wanting to anger Michael Scott by being late and with getting kiddos to get off to school I wake automatically regardless of what the clock says. So, what did I do with my brilliant extra hour? Grab a little morning sex from my hot little trophy wife? Okay, if that happened (and it didn't) I guess there is still the other 58 and a half minutes of free time with which to allocate. I am so pathetic. Did I go for a run? Did I watch the sun come up with a coffee masterfully made via a French press and the morning deadwood press? Nope.

I cleaned my closet. I. Cleaned. My. Closet. I purged my closet of clothes I haven't worn in a long time and put them in a bag for charity. Sadly, I did this on my own without my wife asking me to do it and to make it all incredibly worse............I felt a sense of pride and accomplishment when I was finished. Then I run around all day wondering which clocks have been changed and which ones haven't. What effing time is it anyway?



What has become of my life???






9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can truly relate to this! Fabulous post-plus it is clean, funny and PC! Two thumbs up.
I was driving down I-70 & complaining during my extra hour. I know my kids love spending time with me and nothing says "LOVE" than 25 hours with MOM!
jayne

JOCOeveryman said...

Aw, thanks Jayne. I know getting back to being a family blog might be a good idea. I came back a little salty-didn't I?

JE

Anonymous said...

a LITTLE bit?! heh.

Anonymous said...

Oh but I do love the spice-don't go to goody on me now JE!
JY

Anonymous said...

give this guy a medal!!!!! nice jocoeveryman! i wish my hubby would even clean!

JOCOeveryman said...

Don't worry....the blog is written under a pen name for a good reason. Thanks for reading!

Anonymous said...

This is pretty funny. Most guys make themselves out to be studs in bed. Kinda cute jocoeveryman.

Anonymous said...

Al Bundy in the same post with an Amish rumspringa reference.....brillant. Simply brillant.

Anonymous said...

thats reallllly reallllly really sad