Thursday, April 29, 2010

JOCO goes garage sale crazy this weekend

Every freaking neighborhood in sojoco is having their neighborhood garage sale this weekend. Jesus, I've never seen anything like it.

I guess they don't do this in the city. People just get their shit stolen in the city. No possibility of piling up a bunch of stuff you don't use anymore.....somebody already stole it if you weren't guarding it with a 9MM or a can of tear gas.

So this weekend is it. This is the weekend when us wealthy JOCO people sell our unwanted stuff to poor people for a deal instead of giving it to them. We used to drop it off at a charity now we sell what people will buy first and then ask the charities to come pick up all the crap that doesn't sell. Nice, right? Or....when JOCO people all buy stuff from their neighbor and store for a year to put in their own garage sale the next year.

Why do the neighborhoods have these official weekend garage sales? Simple. This way we will only have poor minorities running around our neighborhoods casing our homes 2 times a year......garage sale weekend and of course Halloween. I guess at least this one is during the day so we can keep an eye on everyone.

Tomorrow will be crazy. I think people are camping in our neighborhood tonight in shitty old Ford pickup trucks.

We take all the money back we just gave the poor people for cutting our lawn, cleaning our homes and serving us over processed sodium laced fast food and buy ridiculously expensive wine and drink it. Brilliant Lovey.


Anonymous said...

Hilarious when you think about garage sales this way as sooo true! Our neighborhood started this as well, lucky for me its the same weekend as a family reunion so I get to pass.

Anonymous said...

C'mon Thurston-haul it to Goodwill. We have a Spring clean up day here in Hilbert. It is when you can haul anything to the curb and the garbage man takes it- if the locals haven't already. It's the all time best free entertainment from my kids bedroom window. Last year some people took my love seat. Little did they know that my water broke while I was sitting on it(passing gas) and ooppss-it was child #2 on her way out. Prolly alot of other excrement and fluids were on it that I had forgotten about. This year I've got a busted toilet and a tv to take out-it's Sanford&Son!
JY in WI

Anonymous said...

If people want to sell their things instead of donating, so be it. I don't think every jocoian is fortunate enough to give away perfectly good items.

I Travel for JOOLS said...

Forget the garage sale. Sell your vintage costume jewelry to ME instead.

I Travel For JOOLS :-)