Let's help Google help the CDC.....6 things you can do this week

I saw with interest on TV and in the paper this morning about how Google is going to offer information on people's searches for health care information to the CDC in an effort to identify trends and tracking the spreading of the flu. Apparently, according to Google 40% of searches are health symptom related. For now they claim they are focusing on the flu but the article says they are eventually hoping to use it to track diseases worldwide.

Then I got a little ornery streak and thought how can we have a little fun with this idea?

Wouldn't it be awesome if we could get everyone in Kansas City to conduct the following Google searches this week and get the CDC all worked up?

1. Yellowish discharge genital area

2. Sores and rash on gential area

3. treatment for crabs or body lice itchy crotch

4. Foul smelling crotch

5. Burning during urination excessive discharge redness

6. Sick of Funky mayor

I could just see the CDC sending scientists into KC wearing those contamination suits descending on us. We are looking for people who are feeling sick with this Funky Mayor! We must isolate the problem before the whole country is infected.

The Crime in KC is more weird than in Leawood

There are many stated reasons why people think living in the Golden Ghetto is preferable to living in the city and we all know there is a great many differences of opinion among intelligent people regarding the issue.

I've tried to stay out of the Mayor Funkhouser "mammy-gate" issue because it really isn't a sojoco thing but after much thought my pea sized brain figured out a way to bring it into my blog.

If ever there was a reason to NOT want to live in the city it is embarassment of all this noise and it is a crime. I was reading the KC crime blotter this morning and came across these interesting reports from the police:

Police called to city hall August 13, 2008 at 2:48 PM

Mayor reports being whipped by a woman with her pussy. The barefooted woman apparently tried to place some wican curse on the police for trying to intervene. Mayor decided not to press charges at this time.

Police called to city hall August 14, 2008 at 8:29 AM

Police called to investigate a whipping. Arriving on scene police find Mayor Funkhouser beaten and huddled in a corner with some foul fish smelling slime all over him. Police decided he was a victim of being pussy whipped. Police made a report and suggested Mayor take some classes in manhood to defend himself. Barefooted woman at the scene was reportedly yelling racial slurs and throwing crystals at the officers on the scene.

Police called to home of Mayor Funkhouser August 15, 2008 at 10:12 PM

Police called to intervene in a domestic pussy whipping. The mayor was found in a pile of dirty dishes and laundry with "Steel Magnolias" playing in the background. Police confirmed this is a systemic case of pussy whipping and directed the Mayor to a local shelter. Barefooted woman on the scene was seen calling various female City Council members asking for support as a woman trying to keep a man in check. City Police noted they would email audio to TKC immediately.

Can you imagine any of this ridiculous noise coming from my own prim and proper Leawood government?

Life is good in SoJoCo.

Tony's KC freaking nails Gloria this morning. If you don't read Tony's KC you should see his complete scoop on the latest in this saga. It inspired me.