Monday, May 5, 2008

Mulch is bullshit: Vote Rocks!

How much fun does this look?????

Let me tell you something.....mulch is bullshit. When did everyone get so big on mulch for your landscaping? Nobody really used mulch when I was a kid. When did all this crap start anyway?

Let me frame this up for you and you tell me if this makes any sense. Every single year out here in SOJOCO and most everywhere else I guess we all cover our flower beds in ground up wood, aka mulch, just to see it wash or blow away by the end of the year. WHERE DOES IT ALL GO? It is like socks in your dryer. Does it all end up someplace and then they just keep reselling it back to you? They tell you it aids in moisture retention and keeps the weeds down and when it breaks down it helps loosen the soil. Water retention, perhaps but weeds? I even put down a weed barrier in my last bed and they still grow. Loosening the soil? Wouldn't it have to stay on the soil to break down and loosen it? If that worked I'd be all for it because the jackass who built my house took all the clay from digging the foundation and turned it into my yard. My yard is still nothing but the same clay it has been since it was built 9 years ago.

This is a conspiracy and a huge racket for the home improvement stores and garden stores and chiropractors! You put it down and then have to buy more and more and more. I saw my neighbors outside along with me all damn weekend putting down mulch like it is a law. "Man, gotta get my mulch down this weekend...." like the somebody is gotta write us a ticket if we don't.

I do mine myself because I am too cheap to pay someone else. I've done it both ways. A couple times I've had it delivered bulk and then kill myself getting it put down. Usually, I buy bags of it at Home Depot and put it down in stages and still kill myself. My back is killing me this morning and I'm sunburnt. I paid someone once to do it and it cost me $600 and they didn't do a very good job.

What happened to rocks? We had rocks in our flower beds when I was growing up. They don't blow away and they don't wash we always had ammo for our wrist rockets (sling shots) and rock fights at all times. I wonder if Moms around the world conspired to get rid of the rocks in gardens. No ammo to put anyone's eye out with. My older brother got hit in the head with one of those little white rocks and he bled like crazy. Danger aside, I say we go back to rocks. I understand they aren't as easy to work with when you wanna plant something new but seriously how many of us are planting new stuff all the time? We can't keep the stuff we have trimmed and cut back.

Think about it. Rocks make sense economically and environmentally. Put them down once. NO MORE MULCH! NO MORE MULCH. I hate mulch.

So, if you the spirit of the election your preference. No, vote your conscience. Mulch or Rocks. You already know I'm pulling for rocks even though I've supported mulch for many years.


Jay said...

I vote rocks. A good hard wind can blow rocks and the damage they would cause......

Jenny said...

HI there - just found your blog. I live in SOJOCO too and must admit it drives me a little nuts with the helicoptering and the stepfordness. But hey, I chose to live here, I guess. Its the schools, the schools! Really, I swear.
Besides, it gives us something to blog about, right?

JOCOeveryman said...

Hey, Jay and I agree on something! See, we can all get along. Thanks Jay.