Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Jayne Poses a Fine Question About Playing with Dick

Sometimes a reader of the blog stimulates (look out several puns coming <--even there, oops) an idea and Jayne's yesterday in a comment made me think.

Her question in essence was, "If a guy who drinks too much gets 'whiskey dick' what do you call the vagina of women who drinks too much before sex"? There was an RA at the dorm freshman year that had a sign on her door that said, "Alcohol: Increases desire, decreases performance". Let's just say we later found that sign to be more of an advertisement than some admonition against binge drinking. Just. saying.

Jayne further said and I agree that slut, whore, tramp all the other inappropriate double standard type names don't work at all.

So, I've been hard at it pondering the question......and well, not much has firmed up yet and I guess you could say that I might be concerned that I'm drilling in a dry well.

My first thought was of the dead fish f$ck but you know some chicks are that way regardless if they have had a sip of Boone's Farm or not so I had to rule that out.....besides.......we'd like to focus on the vagina here not the whole body.

So, obviously dulling the senses means more difficulty reaching orgasm, dehydration means less lubrication....which means pain....which mean inflammation and possibly swelling. Bulbous Vagina. Okay, Dr. Drew Pinskey I'm not.....I don't know why I even went here but I'm gonna say too late now. Jayne, would you please jump in and save me? Sinic, you probably have lots of experience....what do you think?

Jayne......very good question.

I think staying with alcohol influenced names is important so if a guy has Whiskey Dick then a chica might have........

1. Vodka Vajayjay

2. Pomegranate P$ssy

3. Beefeater Beaver

4. Kamikaze Coochie

5. Happy Hour(s) Hooha

6. Send me your own (better) idea but nothing with the "C" word......... even Jocoeveryman has some limits to what he'll post.

So, it might go something like this:

Chica 1: "Oh my God, I've had like 10 Sugar Free Red Bull and Vodkas tonight. (Feeling tummy in effort to convince herself muffin top isn't noticeable) Did you notice Jocoeveryman is looking pretty hot tonight? (hiccup)"

Chica 2: "(Wagging finger in Chica 1's face) Girl, I know you've had at least 10 SFRBV's if you think Jocoeveryman is looking good."

Chica 1: "Stop it. Stop it. (snorting) At least he is trying tonight. He has on a clean shirt.....it is cute, plus he bought me all 10 of these."

Chica 2: "(Snapping a Z) JOCO Bitch, This is a Char. ity. E. Vent. Drinks are free tonight.....I don't know why he keeps saying, 'drinks are on me'.

Chica 1: "Okay, get me outta here. Srsly. You are right. I'll hate myself besides with all this booze I have major Vodka Vajayjay"

Chica 2: "Good girl knowing you have the Kamikaze Coochie. You drive. Let's go to Taco Bell, purge, then go to my BF's hot tub"

I'm sure you chicks have already given it a moniker. Well, expanding on yesterday's theme a couple drinks will help but 10+ will not.

Enjoy and thanks for reading.


Anonymous said...

I am having an asthma flare up as a result of total hysteria! You have taken alot of time to cumpile your thoughts. Back in 1982,my only male high school friend referred to a vagina as "Betty Butterfly". But now that I am sober all the time, I can't remember what it was like when my Betty was sauced. I always enjoyed my time in the cock-coon!
OOOHHH, does that violate the Blog rules for NO nasty "C" words?
JE-You have outdone yourself on this one and I am flattered to have provoked such a noteworthy topic.
Jayne(minus the Dick)&
formerly known as Tequilla Twat

JOCOeveryman said...

I'm flattered that you enjoyed it. Tequila Twat....so sorry I didn't think of that one myself.

Bill the Painter said...

If all else fails, a woman can be artificially lubed, right?

I'd rather do it the natural way, but sometimes a good tongue lashing is in order! ;)

Now, to find the right woman.....

Anonymous said...

JoCoeveryman, this post is gross. here i thought u were a classy jocoian! :-O

JOCOeveryman said...

Well, even the best of us go to the toilet every once in awhile. Hopefully, you see past it and keep reading. Stay Classy.

Anonymous said...

dont you worry your little head i;ll keep reading just as long as you stop posting female parts information dude!

JOCOeveryman said...

I realize some of you chicas are a little squeemish about talking or reading about the vajayjay. I tried to just use the nice words (my opinion)........anyway.

JOCOeveryman said...
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