Tuesday, November 23, 2010


It has come down to this.

I am a grown (pains me to say middle aged) man. On the vanity scale I am medium rare if rare is fully vain and a still alive animal is a complete asshole. I feign being humble. I live in sojoco. My wife says I'm slightly man-erexic because I weight myself regularly......sometimes, yes, morning and night. I tell myself......"just checking". I care about how I look although it clearly doesn't always show. I'm also raising kids and have a hectic, active life and I don't like to get up early in the morning after a regular wine bender although I have to. I travel and I insist on carrying on my bags which means a limited dob kit. Typical. I am not a metro sexual but I like shoes and new suits. Given all that......

I have been completely conflicted with my hair. I know. Guy. Straight. Yes. I want cool hair. It is slightly embarrassing to admit I care.

At my age most guys are mostly concerned about keeping their nose hair weedwacked down and the eyebrows from looking like devil horns.

I insist on not having the Capt. Normal look like this...... Stan Weber dorky guy look.

I've been thinking about it for several months. I got an indecisive maintenance cut last time that pretty much looked like shit. I was thinking buzz cut. I thought it would make me look younger and it would be super easy to take care of......the forty plus year old straight guy in me thinking.

Then I've thought longer hair would be cool so I've been growing it out a bit.....you know to give me options when I finally decide.

I've asked opinions. They are varied. The hairstylist is effing worthless. She just puts it back on me. "What do you want?" Idiot. She is fat and wears too much perfume.

Where is the Sinic when you need her? She has lawyered up on us.

My wife insists I make up my mind for the holidays.....you know pictures and such......by tomorrow. She has made me an appointment. I decided to look at pictures on the web.

Any thoughts? Before you ask or snipe.........if I was as hot as these guys I could wear my hair anyway I wanted but not I'm not as hot...........just scarily close. I'm just saying.

Tomorrow I go under the clippers and scissors and I have no idea.


Well Hell Michelle said...

Short hair that's a little longer on top and textured looks good. Something like this:


Or this which is really similar (but please cover this dude's face when you look at the hair or you will judge this as pretty boy douchebag hair):


Or here's a longer version:


But probably the smartest thing to do would be to have your wife make the decision on your hair. Then you can blame her if you don't like it.

JOCOeveryman said...

I love it Michelle....thanks for the comments.

Anonymous said...

How did the pilgrims wear it? What about the white powdered wig like George Washington-go colonial for the holidays. Jayne

Anonymous said...

Do not, under any circumstances, go with the buzz look. Not good - longer is better. Just sayin