Thursday, September 25, 2008

First Cougars!

Last year we all lived the drama of Coyotes snacking on our beloved family pets to the point that the Leawood City Council had to make it a matter of business at their council meeting. While it seems the eminent threat of coyotes running loose in the neighborhood seems to have waned there seems to be much increased activity or at least discussion of Cougars running loose in sojoco and havens for them need to be known.

First, let me say, let's not collectively hate on the Cougars. I mean a 50-60 year old with a face so tight she can't blink or chew solid food and fake boobs is nothing to get upset about especially considering all the other problems in the world. They need love too, right? It is funny though how the try to dress, act and talk like a 20 year old......classic.

This summer I was at a work outing and a very young colleague was telling a story about a rendezvous. Boys will be boys when it comes to sharing their stories of sexual conquest no doubt but I thought this was funny. He started off by explaining he met a 30 something year old cougar in this bar.......I stopped him immediately. Wait, I said. This is getting out of control. There is no such thing as a 30 year old cougar. Cougars can't be younger than me. Cougars are not in their 30's. But I digress...... Another picture of the Cougar Poster Girl...Samantha

In our part of the world I thought it would be fun to catalog a list of bars where you can observe sojoco cougars in the wild. We used to call it the divorcee bar. Remember Touche? If you never had the chance to check out that train wreck of a night life you really missed an institution. I only checked it out once (truthfully, why would I lie?) but it made me want to go back and shoot a documentary there. It creeped me out when I saw a couple of my old high school teachers there hooping it up and picking up women.

The place I've heard is THE place right now is Nick & Jakes out south. I hear the cougars like to hang out and wait for the rich men to come in after playing golf at nearby Deer Creek or the Links of Lionsgate. Google didn't yield me much luck for the Kansas City area but I bet it won't take long to create the definitive list for sojoco.

Where have you seen cougars in the wild in sojoco? Do you have a good cougar siting you'd like to report?

I heard a comedian say something I thought was pretty funny. Sorry, but I can't remember his name. Sucks to be him but he said and I agree with him...."Halloween is my favorite holiday because it gives otherwise normal women the opportunity to dress up like whores. Look, I'm a witch this year......yea a whore-witch? or a whore nurse? whore school teacher look? or whatever..pretty funny if you think about it.

Check back tomorrow for my list of people I'd rather sleep with than Nancy Pelosi.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Touche' was awesome!! Is it gone? I think I went twice and was very scared. Talk about desparate people! Touche' was a different league than Nick and Jake's. N&Js has been the 'it' place for quite some time for Women to hit it with rich Men. In fact there are rumors that JOCO housewives were arrested giving BJs in the parking lot. I heard for ridiculous amounts of money ($500) Hell, I would blow some old rich guy for that much money!